Once you get into your thirties (and trust me, you’ll get there), suddenly it seems rather unbelievable that you ever survived your twenties. The undergraduate years alone can do someone in with the lack of sleep, copious alcohol consumption and bad decisions, one after another. Graduate school is tougher in a completely different way. Maybe you’ll get married, have kids, live abroad or finally learn to actually like your parents.
No matter what your twenties have in store for you, you’re lucky to be endowed with the kind of nerve that makes leaps of faith not only possible but also successful. Looking back on my own journey, I really don’t know if I could do it now. For better or for worse, here are a few things I learned during my most disastrous, exciting and fun-fueled decade so far.
Relationships
If I could tell teenage and 20-something me two pieces of advice, they would be: don’t get into serious relationships and travel as much as humanly possible. I had the same boyfriend throughout high school. I then met my husband (now ex-husband) during my freshman year of college. We were together seven years, married on Maui and divorced six months later. We both knew it was a mistake, but what else do you do after seven years?
I don’t blame his cancer or my taking night classes and moving him in with me so I could take him to chemo for eight hours a day. I don’t blame the pressure of our friends with the whole president of the two largest fraternity and sorority paradigm. All I blame is our own stupidity flanked in naivety. While I certainly probably avoided some bad hook ups because of my monogamy track, I’m equally certain I missed out on a lot.
The Travel Part
There were so many things I would have done if I weren’t in a relationship or thought “it” (that thing) was a waste of money. I finished my second year of graduate school in London and wish I would have studied abroad much more. I would have received my passport well before my 25th birthday. I would have said yes to every proposed road trip.
Even if you don’t have kids, a spouse or general grown-up responsibilities, traveling gets more difficult (and more expensive) the older you grow. In your thirties, hostels just don’t do it anymore. Seek out avenues for living abroad and say yes to them all. If you join the Peace Corps post-undergrad, you’re an even better candidate for grad school when you return, more experienced and more mature.
Don’t Force It
Don’t try and force the growing up part of your twenties. Although they may not be the best years of your life,they’re certainly the most lighthearted. Enjoy them with decadence, abandon and a little common sense (like saving, right now, for retirement). Squeeze past those pool fences and skinny dip with your friends in the middle of the night. Push the limits, but know where yours are etched.
You’ll have plenty of time for the boring stuff like staying in on Friday nights, drinking wine when you’d prefer a screwdriver or dating the person who’s pre-med because you think they’ll be stable. I’ve dated three MDs in my life and they make perhaps the worst mates. Live your twenties solely for you; you’ll never regret it.
Adrienne is a blogger who often writes about health and identity.
The post Leaps of Faith: The Other Side Seems Closer in Your Twenties appeared first on Attitude Donor.