I like punk music, heavy metal music, romantic poetry, and decadent art. In few words, we can say that I am attracted by self-destruction. I am not alone: a large group of people are with me; Just to mention few: Baudelaire, Leopardi, Poe, Coleridge and Shelley (husband and wife). Wait: others are coming to join the party: Oscar Wilde, Charles Bukowski, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. Notice the trend – they are all troubled souls, great successes, but have lost their way in life!
The previous were only the ones that came to mind while writing these words, but I am sure that there are thousands more. Anyway if you look at mankind’s historical decadence – death; and in a way self-destruction, have always been present in all cultures all over the ages. What does it mean? There are many answers to this question, but the one I feel makes most sense, is that man feels alone and lost.
No matter where or when you born – you are born alone, you will die alone and in no way could you experience the main milestones of life with someone else trailing by your side – holding you back. Your loved ones could be near you, but in no way could they be really with you. This fact, of course, is a great source of fear and sadness: for most people at least. For a select few, it is a source of morbid curiosity and obsession of a “single-party”. Both ways of living, feelings of loneliness can destroy you, or, give you some sort of strange mental strength. It is all in your hands. It is up to you to choose – be it under the hammer, or be the smith!
All of the people I nominated have spent their entire life fighting, struggling to keep their mind open to all the sensations that the world had to offer them. They didn’t’ refuse anything. Maybe they accepted too much in some ways…Why I am telling you these, not so popular words? Because, I am sure that knowledge could be the only way a man can be a real man, rising himself from the beast – the inner daemons. It is not about going to work every day, getting married and having children. It is about being present with yourself, understands yourself, your desires – embrace yourself. You don’t have to be a sheep; don’t do what all the others do. You have to think with your own brain, never stop wondering and never give in to anything. Giving in will give you bitter taste, like the bloody metallic tinge from a punch as your mouth is saturated. But as a punch – it will shake you, set you free.
I know it sounds strange, but to my eyes, this is one of the main reasons I enjoyed school. Understand me: I have always hated homework, exams being judged by someone else who doesn’t care, or know anything about me. What I mean is that learning, feeding the brain and gifting yourself with as many tools as possible to see the world in many different ways, is the greatest way to succeed… well, it is the best that you can do for yourself anyway, you deserve it, you owe it to yourself.
Please, when you choose a school to attend, don’t think about just the career that it will provide you. Think about how it will feed your passion, your desire to succeed.
Ed Mcm is a professional Writer with a GED in California
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